The Rhodea Family

Hello all:

Wow, it’s been over a month since I wrote on here. I apologize, and repent in sack-cloth and ashes (well, at least in ashes).

Furthermore, every so often, I guiltily think of the list of names and email addresses we collected for our newsletter–I hear their voices crying out to me from their box: “Use us, use us, use us!” Be not afraid, little slips of paper…you shall fulfill your purpose, when the time has fully come (and a thousand years is as a day, in my sight…).

Life is proceeding along admirably here. The weather has been warm, the schoolwork has been interesting, and the kids have been sick (this is less than admirable, I admit). Chavi and Josiah have now had strep throat TWICE since we moved here in January, and a couple of weeks ago Chavi had her second febral seizure since being here (a sidenote: The computer tells me that “febral” is mis-spelled, and suggests “feral” as the correct alternative; thank you, technology [a further sidenote: as it happens, the computer is correct about it being wrong...my double-redundant {a third sidenote: Is "double-redundant" itself redundant? I think so!} spell-check provides me with what I trust to be the correct spelling: febrile]). Thank you to all of you who prayed and inquired about her during that period; I’m happy to say she is fine. The doctors stressed that these are very common, do no damage to the kids (despite being scary), and go away by the age of five. That being said, we need to just watch her and try to keep fevers low.

The kids are very cute, by the way. Josiah is developing quite the little personality, and has begun “talking.” I put it in quotes, of course, because while he is quite able to make his wishes known, he sometimes does so in very non-traditional ways. Here’s a short lexicon to interpret his will:

VOCALIZATIONS
“Da” (while pointing at something)=”Excuse me, Daddy, what is that right there?”
“Ba”=lamp, light, ball, bus, bath, water, etc…
“Ba-ba“=water or bubble bath
“Nun” (as in “nun, nun!)= the noise made by cars, buses, trucks, and trains
“*gurgling noises*”=intense desire for something, usually a drink or goldfish crackers…often whatever drink I am having
“Fsh“=fish
*blood-curdling screams*=”Attend to me immediately!”

SIGN LANGUAGE
*rubbing hands up and down on chest*=please
*touching index fingers together*=more
*pulling Chavi’s hair*=”I want you to die”
*kissing*=kissing (I love you?)
*moving hand away from mouth in an extended way*= “Thank you”
*pulling at diaper and gurgling*=”Excuse me, but I fear I have soiled my loins. Could you find it in your heart to wipe my butt before it becomes gangrenous?”
*urgently mimicking the milking of a cow with both hands*=Do I really need to translate this one?
*clapping*= “I am happy,” or “I see the yellow bus,” or “I’m about to watch TV,” or “Chavi is excited about something, and I might as well be too!”
*hitting his own head as hard as he can against the nearest wall*=”I am very angry, and I demand that you concede to my will NOW, or I will be forced to do irreparable harm to myself” (he does this nearly every time something happens he doesn’t like. Hopefully he grows out of this before college…).
*bringing a book to you and trying to climb your leg*= “Daddy, I want you to read this book to me. The stakes are pretty high, because if you don’t, I will hit my head against the wall and probably damage my brain. Even if I don’t, in 18 years when I am a freshman at college, you will think back upon this missed opportunity to spend time with me and weep. Father, I counsel you to sow well for the present, that you might reap but few regrets in the future.”

There is much more that could be said upon this topic, but if you use the above tips, you will be able to understand the gist of his intent.

In other happy news, Kailoni and I have developed the unusual ability to sleep every night by levitating six feet above the floor. While you obviously suspect this is accomplished by the powers of the occult, I fear that here you are wrong. Through a systematic search of the internet, we discovered a place to buy an incredible technology that turns out queen-sized bed into a loft. As such, we know have the mattress way up in the are, and underneath the bed (Called the “Greg-Cave,” by some…ok, well, by me), Kailoni and I each have a desk for our computers (and a filing cabinet, and a little tupperware thing of drawers). There is just enough room for us to sit up in bed without hitting our heads, and enough room underneath to sit in our chairs without hitting our heads. This is a fine accomplishment, and I look forward to providing you with photographic evidence in the future (but don’t hold your breath on that one…).

It is actually spring break here, which has been nice. My parents drove down to visit us this week, and they arrived Saturday about noon. It has been a lot of fun to hang out with them and watch them play with the kids. Today we were going to go to the Dallas Zoo, but a tire on the van insisted upon committing suicide right in the middle of a busy freeway (always suckers for a dramatic exit, those self-loathing radials). As we were struggling to pry loose the spare tire that had been rust-fused to the chassis of the car by years of UP road salt, I just happened to notice I was lying right next to the carcass of a dead dog that was going the way of all flesh. The dead dog was illustrative of the entire experience.

After we went and got new tires put on the van, we thought that perhaps we ought not attempt a trip back to the zoo (it might be too traumatic for the other tires to revisit the very place where they lost one of their mates [tires are polygamous, you know {at least ours are}]).

Instead, we decided on going on a walking tour of downtown Dallas, which we accomplished with much effect. It was a beautiful sunny day, and a great time to walk around aimlessly. We got to see the JFK assassination site, and a whole bunch of other downtown-Dallas-sort-of-stuff (I will resist the temptation to joke about the JFK assassination, other than to say that I didn’t see a grassy knoll anywhere, and that according to the episode of the X-Files I watched last week, the Cigarette Smoking Man killed JFK [Ditto with Martin Luther King Jr.]. If any of you are unfamiliar with the greatness that is the X-Files, you have my pity).

We are going to try to go kiteboarding tomorrow, we’ll see if the wind is favorable. I’m afraid that the lakes down here just make us want to go home! They are man-made, somewhat scuzzy, turgid-looking, and surrounded by rocks, broken glass, and nefarious-looking characters. Actually, I speak somewhat tongue in cheek (a sidenote: tongues are always in cheeks). I’m just really thrilled they actually have lakes around here you can kiteboard on. Dallas boasts its own kitebording shop, two different kiteboarding lesson companies, the largest kiteboarding meet-up group in the world, and a Dallas-based kiteboarding ministry called “Kiters for Christ.”

One sobering thing about the lake we are going to try to hit tomorrow is that there is a three foot wide opening in the rocks where you go in and out from the beach. That means if you can’t stay upwind, you’ll eventually flounder on the rocks and are attacked, killed, and eaten by the local molemen. If that is my fate tomorrow, know that I love you all; “Farewell, cruel world, I leave you now, I loved you never.”

Or some such.

If this entry seems rather rambling or inane, I apologize, and repent in sackcloth and ashes (well, at least in sackcloth).

March 17th, 2009 | Category: Uncategorized | Subscribe to comments | Leave a comment | Trackback URL